Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Last summer I began to recognize the madness of my fury and felt the toll it was beginning to take on my life. Had I been consumed and swept away my fears and doubt? Was I actually running away from confronting myself self as an aging man who had faced his mortality? My life had not become about me, but an obsession of underachievement. It recognized it was time to stop and get back in touch with the person I had lost along the way. I began a rigorous workout and diet program that got me physically back into shape. I began to mentally pay attention to the details of the life around me that I was somehow forgetting to live. I began to look at the volume of work I had created that was stuffed and hidden away, and marveled that I had managed to accomplish so much. There was a sudden awakening to a stranger I had become to myself and others.
Now the photography market in Missoula is beginning to collapse; I feel like I once again have to reinvent myself. My passion has always been art, beauty, light, and the naked body, and not necessarily in that order. I have now reached that point in my life where it’s time to look back, recognized the influences of my past and move toward a new future. This time it needs to be more about me, what I need and want; to use the talents I have and discover what extraordinary things I am capable of if I just allow them to emerge.
VIEWFULL IMAGE: John #373