One man's exploration in finding himself and his search for light, beauty, desire and art.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
My perceptions of my imagery is changing the more I begin to look at what I have been doing and try to examine what the process is becoming. It feels like I have jumped from the creative mode into a marketing mode and it makes me begin to look at the process differently. Almost like the humanity side of my creativeness is being extracted. Or at least I am having a hard time seeing the images on their own. Writing about my process, and exposing images with it, seems to have created such a symbiotic relationship that becomes hard to separate. There was a simplicity in the beginning when all remained hidden and the images were private never really intended to be shown. I don’t think my process or approach has changed at all, but the exposure and expectations are now different. Before I had great difficulty finding subjects who were willing to expose themselves so the process become a struggle of searching for that identity. Now that people know what I am doing, and it is becoming recognizable, I have lots of willing subjects and they know coming in where the outcome will probably lead. In many ways this is liberating because an element of apprehension that I used to overcome no longer exists and I can get right to work and become more creative with the process. Sometimes it used to take me several sessions to get to that level of comfort. There is a part of me that misses that exploration because the revelation was not always with the subject but more often with myself, over coming my own fears, anxieties, and sexual phobia. I think this year my images have become much more interesting. The process of writing about my history and feeling bring my vision more into focus. I still feel like this has all is merely the study for something that I am on the verge, just about to discover.