Friday, February 11, 2011
Tapping the Raw Sensual Intensity
Many years ago, I was working as a bartender in a popular gay club off DuPont Circle in Washington DC. I had a roommate who was a porn star. I felt like I had gained celebrity status and was recognized and known though out the DC circuit. One night I got caught in a bad neighborhood in a bad part of town. I had been visiting some friends during the afternoon and it got dark and needed to get home. This was such a bad neighborhood that the cabs would not even come into it to pick anyone up. The only place to catch a cab was four streets down on a street better known as prostitution row, lined with hundreds of them. Suddenly one approaches me, a very young woman, our eyes lock and I see the desperation of her soul. She is like a magnate pulling me into her darkness. I wanted to turn away, fearing she may consume me, but remained locked into that stare, fascinated and bewildered. She sees in me the history of who I am, realizes I am gay, have no money to spend on her, turns away and moves on to someone else with the same intensity she approached me. This is probably one of the most intense connections I have ever had with another human being. The exchange lasted but a moment, few words where exchanged but we instantly knew the entire history of each other. That moment has haunted me most of my life. I saw the intensity within myself and it has helped me in dealing with others. It is this intensity I begin to the photo session and the connection you see in my subjects. I always tell models to connect personally with what they are doing, the viewer of the image needs to see your thoughts, connect to them and recognize something within themselves the make the image powerful. If you are thinking of mindless grocery lists, the view doesn’t care and the image becomes void of any context. Not to go on about porn again, but this has become the way of that industry, no one seems to connect with what they are doing. How do they expect me to get excited about it if they are not excited about what they are doing? I think this is why the amateur stuff is becoming so exciting and popular, it’s real again. It is with this intensity that I connect to my own sensuality, realize it in my work, and strive to bring out in others.
VIEW FULL IMAGE: JR #178