One man's exploration in finding himself and his search for light, beauty, desire and art.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Getting Back To The Truth
For some reason it feels like the surface of my vision has become boring. The more I settle the less interesting I become. Is this project refining all the hard edges out of my life, healing so many old wounds, that it is grinding all the truly interesting parts of myself away? I am beginning to shoot new things but have lost the deeper meaning that was so vivid in the beginning. So much of my work was steeped on fear and living on the edge of anxiety. If I reveal and expose all that pain and heal all those wounds is the meaning of my struggle lost? I fear it is fading to become a distant memory that will no longer haunt or inspire me to greater work. Last night I sat working on a series that was absolutely beautiful of a young man I shot last week. Some of the best stuff I have produced technically, up to this point in my life. I keep wanting to suppress the really interesting images and keep them hidden, those revealing the darker side of myself that I am drawn to. Does having an audience sway what I am trying to produce and impact its honesty? Have I softened this project so much that I am not really exposing what brought me here in the first place?